It’s Not About Me

    I am here to serve the Lord; my purpose is to know Christ and to make him know. In this, there is no room for my plan and God’s plan. There is only room for my life to be a part of Christ’s plan. I am here on this Earth for a greater purpose, other than myself.
  Recently, I have been wrestling with my plan and purpose. The Lord tells us in Psalm 37:4 “ Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” In many ways I secretly crave that American Dream, but try to deny it.  I have dreams to become a successful businesswoman, live in a beautiful apartment in the city, and travel across the globe. I want to to become a wife and mother. I want a comfortable life. So, does this mean that because I delight in the Lord he will give me all of these dreams and desires?
After hearing Steve Heerema’s testimony, I learned that just like me, he had a dream. He wanted to play football professionally for the NFL. But so often than not, God had a different plan for Steve; he became injured and his football career was over. I identified with so many parts of Steve’s testimony and was challenged in many ways. But this was the part that I wrestled and identified with the most. Galatians 2:20 rang into my ears, “ I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” It is not until I die to myself that I can become a new creation, one that is filled with Christ. I need God to break me of my human desires: die to my dreams, goals, and ambitions. I cannot have both. There is no room for my human desires and God’s plans to coexist. I must pick one and the other must die. God broke Steve before he even came to know Christ. The Lord is a loving, caring Father who will do anything that will help me, even if it is breaking me now so that He can show me what is best for me.
I in many ways would say I have a willing and open heart, but deep down I am afraid that God will call me to be ONLY blank, and believe that on my own I could be doing something better with my life and time.  But, the thing is that my life is not about me, it is about the One who breathed life into me.  And if I truly am a follower of Christ I would not be focused on things and my own plans, but focused on Him and bringing glory to the Kingdom.
This past week, I have focused on Psalm 37:4, specifically on the word “delight.” I have found it to be such a beautiful word, and one that is rarely used on a normal occasion. The definition of delight is “something that gives great pleasure or a feeling of great pleasure or joy.” When we truly delight in the Lord, we take great pleasure in Him and have this overwhelming feeling of pleasure or joy. There are no doubts or feelings of other desires; we only desire the Lord. This verse holds true, The Lord really will give us the desires of our heart. It is just that when we delight in the Lord, are desires become pure of heart.
Life is not about me; it is not about my dreams or pleasures. There is not room for my earthly and heavenly desires. I must die to self and to my dreams and then can become a new creation.  I desire to find my delight in the Lord, rather than earthly dreams. Once I am at this point, this state of willingness and openness to how the Lord uses me, he can begin to use me for His greater purpose.
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